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So, you have decided that you want to break out of the mold and start your own Business or Muse ( i.e. The 4 Hour Workweek)? Perhaps you have been forced to because your Job sucks or you were laid off and now you are going to start you Muse and take a shot at going from the 50 hour workweek and shoot for the 4 hour workweek? Well, while most people prepare and plan for their business, they don’t plan for what this is going to do for their relationships with the people they care for and love, or even like. I have to add, even the ones that you don’t like. 🙂
In navigating several start-ups, I was not prepared for the dramatic change that transpires with the people you know once you decide to embark on the journey to start your own business.
I have been involved with one of my latest Muse’s or Businesses for fourteen months. And I have to tell you, it is or can be really rough on relationships. One of the things that you need to do, is involve your partner in the process and share with them what is going on and the more you do this with them, the better.
I have not always done so and it can be bad. 🙁 Because if you don’t, it can have a devastating impact on the relationship and ruin it. For the most part, this can be prevented, if you are aware of it and make a constant effort to include you partner in the process. And if I have learned anything, it is this. You can’t really share too much. You need to give them a feeling of ownership in the process because it will impact their life too and usually in a dramatic fashion.
You need to let them know why you have become obsessed with getting this thing off the ground and that it has a lot to do with the fact that you care for them and want them to have a better life. Now while you may assume they know this, don’t, it is a mistake. You need to tell them in no uncertain terms that this is as much for them as it is for you.
Sharing Is Important
This is especially true if you have never done this before, or if they have never started their own Business or Muse. This is even more applicable for you guys that don’t communicate well. It may not come naturally, but you need to flat out tell your partner that you are doing this for them and that you need their help and support. Trust me on this, it is very important.
Do not beat around the bush. And perhaps this is even more important if you are a Woman. Guys are kind of dense and do not pick up hints at all. You need to leave no room for ambiguity and tell them directly, in words a third grader can understand. 🙂 Guys don’t get hints if you have not figured this out yet.
This last start up of mine has been a particularly rough one because of the complexity, scope, and it being International in nature, it has been a doozey. That plus we decided to internally fund the development put a particular strain on things that would not normally otherwise be there. When you are in start up mode, perhaps things will be tight and you won’t have the time or money to go on Vacations, or go out to dinner or do a lot of fun things that you would normally do. Plus, it is going to put a strain not only on your time, but it will more than likely be a mind suck as well and you may not pay attention to your mate as much as you should.
I know from experience, my personality changes when I am in start up mode as well.
Trust me on this one. You need to place as much importance on explaining what is going on and asking for assistance from you mate about where you are with he or she as you pay attention to your business. Otherwise, you can quite easily end up in a crash and burn situation.
I am bringing this up because of my own situation and the fact that I have spoken with three other Entrepreneurs in the same boat just this week. They are both Guys and Girls. If you do this start a Muse, you will run into this situation. Not if, but when. The faster you get out in front of it, the better off you are. It could literally save your relationship.
The Kicker is that if you get your mate to back you, it can make or break the deal or at least make it many times harder or simpler. If you get their backing, your chances of success can dramatically increase. Plus, it will drastically decrease the stress level in what is going to be a stressful period in your life.
Now I am not saying starting your own business in not one of the best feelings in the world and can be fun, but it is going to involve quite a bit of hard work,. It will also put some stress on all of your relationships.
It will not only stress your mate, but your kids, and the rest of your family.
One of the things that I will caution you about. If you have a family member or friend that wants to tell you about negative things or is not supportive, you need to be ruthless in not talking to them about your business. You can be polite, but tell them you are not interested in their opinion. It can seriously put a monkey wrench in the works if you put up with it. Back away from contact with that person if they don’t stop.
You do not need a Nego-My Eggo in the mix. I am sure you are grown up and know the risks. You need to be concentrating on how to make it work, not listening to some negative person tell you why it won’t work. Lose them quick like a bad egg salad sandwich. Both are toxic, bad for your health and well being and not recommended for consumption at all.
So, the bottom line is that you need to sit down with your significant other and let them in on what is going on. And I don’t mean on a superficial level either. If they get that you need them and they give you support. It will make your job many, many times easier and increase your chance at success.
And if you have one that does not support you, well, sometimes you just have to forge ahead and seriously, once you are successful, you are not going to look at them in the same light.
Your Are Breaking The Mold. This Will Upset People…
The other thing by doing this, you are no longer going to fit the preconceived idea about who you are. While they may not realize it, they may resent it on a sub-conscious level. If you are aware of this when it happens, you can see it coming and block it and then explain this to them. It can help.
Something else is that you will find complete strangers believing in what you are doing far more than those that know you. Again, it is the not fitting the mold syndrome. It is kind of like the old saying, that you are only an expert when you are out of town. Experts come from elsewhere, not from someone next door or someone that you already know.
But hopefully you do have a supportive person in your life (and if not, find some people that are) and it is up to you to share what is going on with them in detail to keep it that way.
I am going to jump around a bit here. You should seek out other successful Entrepreneurs. While others in your life may be supportive or not, by seeking out other successful Entrepreneurs, they are over the whole “if you can do it” and on to here is how to do it, or how to do it better. The good ones will share a wealth of knowledge with you that you just flat out cannot get any place else.
Have a profitable day. I am going to go ahead and publish this on Sunday and maybe my editor will get to it. If not, just skip over the typos. You are smart, you will get what I mean. 🙂
Now go have that chat and have fun! Remember, you do have what it takes and you can do this!
Andrew “Easy” Anderson